Here are some tips for caring for yourself, the caregiver. It's sometimes easy to forget to do this. Caregivers often put aside their own needs to help others. It's important to remember that you must also take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of another person.
Admit your feelings if you're tired, isolated, helpless, angry,
resentful or guilty. Talk to someone, join a support group and share
concerns, especially with your elder, if possible. Support groups
are also great places to get tips and resources. There is an Aging
Parents Support Group at the UCSB Women's Center on the second Wednesday
of the month, 12-1pm at the Women's Center. You can also find support
groups through hospital senior services, religious service organizations
such as Jewish Family and Children's Services and Catholic Charities,
the United Way, hospices and Area Agency on Aging offices. Also
check with the Family Caregiver Alliance and Alzheimer's Association.
Set reasonable expectations for yourself. Don't think you have to
be all things to all people at all times. Set limits with your family,
friends and parents, and stick to them.
Take care of yourself physically. Eat right, get exercise, use relaxation
techniques. Try to keep regularity in your life. You are entitled
to the same good care you are giving to other people.
Avoid destructive ways of coping such as alcohol, overeating or
drug misuse.
Seek help when you need it, from family and friends, professionals
and employers. You don't have to do it all yourself.
Maintain as many social activities and contacts as you can. Make
personal time and plan occasions for your own pleasure and renewal.
Allow yourself a full range of feelings and don't be hard on yourself.
Begin to acknowledge your own aging process, the losses and gains
in your own life. Most of all, remember that there's no right or
wrong way to do this work.
Elder Abuse
There is no universally accepted definition of the phrase "elder abuse" and state statutes vary considerably. However, it is generally agreed that elder abuse can involve any of the following: physical abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, financial abuse, neglect, and abandonment. For more information on elder abuse, contact the Adult Protective Services office in the county where the elder resides; if the elder is in a board and care home or long-term facility, contact the Ombudsman in the county where the home or facility is located. Detailed information on elder abuse is also available on the California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform (CANHR) web site:How to Make an Abuse Report?
In Santa Barbara county, Adult Protective Services (APS) is designated as the agency to investigate allegations of elder abuse in community settings. If the investigators find abuse, they make arrangements for services to help protect the victim. If the elder is in a board and care home or long-term facility, contact law enforcement or the Ombudsman and the appropriate licensing agency. For nursing homes, contact the California State Department of Health Services, Licensing and Certification and for residential care facilities for the elderly, the California Department of Social Services, Community Care Licensing. The numbers for the local agencies can be found in the Community Resources section of this guide.